Suzie Cameron shows off the beautiful quilt, entitled Creating Magic, that she made and that was quilted by Trish Leithwood, for a raffle to benefit the Cancer Society's Golf Fore The Cure event at the Revelstoke Golf Course on Tuesday. That's when her friend Nel Lord will — if she raises $2,000 — shave her head. Nel's total is currently at $1,500. You can help push her past the $2,000 mark by going to her web page at http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/GolfForetheCure/GOLF_CAN_even_?px=3717363&pg=personal&fr_id=9163. You can also play in the Golf Fore The Cure Tournament on Sept. 14 or join in all the fun from 7 pm afterwards. There's a dinner, a raffle, door prizes and more! David F. Rooney photo

You could almost see the wheels turning in Mayor David Raven's head as took a new Mitsubishi i-MiEV pure-electric car for a spin on city streets Wednesday. "I could see getting one of these for the building inspectors," he mused, adding — somewhat wistfully — "if only we had the money in the budget..." Here, he prepares to take BC Hydro's Jennifer Walker-Larsen for a spin. The vehicle, driven across Canada by Mitsubishi representatives, costs between $30,000 and $40,000 and will be available for sale in Canada in 2011. It is already available in Japan. BC Hydro is acquiring two of the vehicles. David F. Rooney photo

By David F. Rooney

You could almost see the wheels turning in Mayor David Raven’s head as took a new Mitsubishi i-MiEV pure-electric car for a spin on city streets Wednesday.

“I could see getting one of these for the building inspectors,” he mused, adding — somewhat wistfully — “if only we had the money in the budget…”

Well, at $30,000 to $40,000 a unit that might be possible some day, if not right away, as the City moves towards a greener, cleaner fleet of municipal vehicles.

The i-MiEV, which stands for Intelligent Mitsubishi Innovative Electric Vehicle, is an all-electric, charge-at-home/office commuter car. Fifty of the surprisingly spacious vehicles are being tested by Hydro Quebec in the City of Boucherville and BC Hydro is acquiring two of the cars to highlight green energy-efficient options.

Andrew Bardwell, a member of the Mitsubishi team that has been driving the vehicle from Canada’s eastern-most point at Cape Spears, Nfld., to Victoria, said the i-MiEV has a range of 120 km between charge-ups to its lithium batteries, which can take as few as 21 minutes.

“It handles remarkably well and we had no problems in the mountains or Rogers Pass,” he said.

Of course, there wasn’t any snow in the pass and while this vehicle “is really a city vehicle,” you can get snow tires for it, Bardwell said.

The vehicle will also be one of the stars at the annual EV 2010 VÉ Conference and Trade Show on Sept. 13.

So are electric cars like this one really the shape of things to come, vehicle-wise?

Dave Cobb, BC Hydro’s president and CEO thinks so.

“Electric vehicles are coming and they have the potential to revolutionize the transportation industry while significantly reducing greenhouse gas emissions,” he said in a statement.

“We are particularly interested in highlighting clean energy options – like electric vehicles – that we know are of great interest to our customers and their desire to use energy efficiently. We are working with industry partners and auto manufacturers to increase awareness of these cars in B.C. and help our customers see how they operate in real-world conditions. It’s exciting to showcase the Mitsubishi i-MiEV in B.C. through this tour and we wish them success as they continue to be innovative in clean transportation options.”

You can find out more about the i-MiEV’s cross-Canada tour at www.cleanacrosscanada.ca. For more information about BC Hydro please go to www.bchydro.com.

Employment listing updates for the day will be posted at about 9 am and 4 pm daily (actual posting times may vary due to the editor’s workload).

Job seekers interested in these positions, or those shown on previous days, are strongly encouraged to contact the Revelstoke Employment Services Centre. RESC is located at 117 Campbell Avenue. It can be contacted by telephone at 250-814-0244, by
 fax at 250-814-0256 
and by e-mail at resc@okanagan.bc.ca. The RESC Website is at www.resc.ca.

Latest Job Listings — Thursday, September 9, 4:27 pm

Position Title: Seasonal Truck Drivers
Employer: HMC Services Inc.

Job Description: Looking for professional drivers for the winter season to operate snowplow and sanding trucks in the Golden, Revelstoke, and Trout Lake areas. HMC Services Inc. is the road and bridge maintenance contractor in the Selkirk Area.

Experience: Proven highway experience. Experience driving single axle, tandem axle vehicles and operating a variety of transmissions, including a 13 speed.

Licenses/Certificates: Valid BC Driver’s License (minimum Class 3 with air endorsement).

To Apply: Application forms may be picked up at HMC Services Inc.’s office listed below. Qualified applicants are invited to submit applications, along with a photocopy of their driver’s license, and up to date driver’s abstract and references to substantiate experience to:

HMC Services Inc., 723 Highway 23 South, Revelstoke, BC, V0E 2S0

Fax:250-837-6225

Applications will not be accepted without a current driver’s abstract. Only short-listed applicants will be contacted.

***

Position Title: Line Cook
Employer: Emo’s Restaurant

Wage: Depends upon experience.

Job Description: Full-time employment.

Experience: Kitchen experience required.

Skills/Abilities: Work with kitchen team in a fast pace restaurant.

To Apply: Bring resume into Emo’s Restaurant (418 First Street West) and ask for Sergio, Paula, or Mass.

***

Thursday, September 9, 9:17 am

Position Title: Rental Technicians
Employer: Revelstoke Mountain Resort

Job Description: Rental Technicians are responsible for fitting guests with the appropriate equipment for their needs. This team is customer-focused and plays a key role in creating memorable guest experiences. Responsibilities include: Maintain and prepare all equipment rentals following all applicable safety protocol; Ensuring the guest accurately completes the rental form; Proper fitting of rental equipment for the guests’ skill level; Check rental equipment for damage when returned.

Skills/Abilities: Excellent customer service and sales skills. Able to work in a fast-paced environment. Team player. Self-motivated, able to work independently. Mature, friendly and well-groomed.

To Apply: If you are interested in being considered for this position, please complete the Seasonal Application Form (see pink pouch below on Job Board or download from www.revelstokemountainresort.com) and submit it along with your cover letter and resume to employment@revelstokemountainresort.com. No phone calls please. Only suitable candidates will be contacted.

***

Position Title: Repair Technicians
Employer: Revelstoke Mountain Resort

Job Description: Repair Technicians are responsible for repairing and tuning the rental fleet and guest equipment as well as helping out in the rental shop with equipment selection and binding adjustments. Responsibilities include: Become familiar and confident with all product knowledge; Assess the repair/tuning needs for guests; Repair and tune equipment; Ensure customer satisfaction.

Experience: Previous experience/knowledge.

Skills/Abilities: Excellent sales and customer service skills. Excellent organizational skills. Attention to detail. Must be able to do some physical labour.

To Apply: If you are interested in being considered for this position, please complete the Seasonal Application Form (see pink pouch below on Job Board or download from www.revelstokemountainresort.com) and submit it along with your cover letter and resume to employment@revelstokemountainresort.com. No phone calls please. Only suitable candidates will be contacted.

***

Mount Begbie still offers spectacular hiking at this time of the year. Ken Jones and Robyn Abear poise against a spectacular view of Revelstoke from the base of the Begbie glacier. Laura Stovel photo

By Laura Stovel

Mount Begbie still offers spectacular hiking at this time of the year.

The lupins, Indian paintbrushes and valerian are still out and a good supply of huckleberries are a welcome site at the first bench. The hike demands a good level of fitness, though, especially strong knees for the downward stretch.

According to Paul Salva, who blazed the trail with Bud Stovel back in the early 1950s, “It was never a planned trail. It was a way of getting up as quickly as possible. So it was a pretty direct route really.”

Bud adds, “We had a long fall and the buds were out on the rhododendrons. That’s what we used to call ’snow brush’. So we were able to work right into November. We axed the trail out. In the early part there were two wide bands of hemlock. So thick we could hardly walk through it. All we had was little hatchet and a small handsaw.”

“Once we got beyond the two bands we hiked straight up until we reached the top of the first ridge. So we didn’t locate any more trail. We just walked over the ridge, which was good walking. The last part of the trail going up over steep part became the basis of the new trail. It ended up in small glades of meadow. Then we followed a creek and walked over rock that had large chunks of tourmaline in it. Once we were on top of the solid rock we were below the glacier.”

“A very nice diversion was heading off to the right and to the lakes behind Begbie,” Bud said. “That to me is the real thrill of the hike, not the peak itself.

“Eventually Chick Sharp, when he had his school, hacked out a trail on the meadow” around the lakes. That had the advantage of keeping people to the trail.”

Here are some shots of people hiking on Begbie last weekend… and 50 years ago:

Ken Jones boot skis down a snowy patch. Laura Stovel photo

Indian paintbrushes along the trail are among the many alpine flowers that can still be enjoyed. Laura Stovel photo

Begbie peaks are even more grand close up. Laura Stovel photo

Spectacular old growth cedars and hemlock shelter the steep Begbie trail. Laura Stovel photo

Doug Overhill (front) and Paul Salva on a ledge on Begbie. Photo courtesy of Bud Stovel

Bud Stovel (left) and Doug Overhill on Begbie peak. Paul Salva photo courtesy of Bud Stovel

Nel Lord

Avid golfer Nel Lord plans to bare it all by shaving her head if she raises $2,000 for cancer research during the Canadian Cancer Society’s First Golf Fore The Cure on Sept. 14.

“I am doing this because I have friends and friends of friends with this disease, some who have died,” the vivacious owner of Mountain Deva Landscapes told The Current. “We are possibly only dollars away from finding a cure and minutes from saving someone’s life. I want to do something because I can… and… it’s going to be a super fun event!”

If you are interested in playing in the tournament at the Revelstoke Golf Club on Sept. 14 please contact Tournament Coordinator Suzie Cameron at 250-837-1745. Who knows? The $10 you put down could boost Nel to her grand total and a date with a barber’s shears!

You can also visit her cancer society web page for more details.

The efforts of the labour movement brought health and safety laws, shorter work weeks, the weekend, and minimum labour standards to benefit all workers. But we don’t stop at the workplace as we also play a role in our communities.

The Shuswap Columbia District Labour Council is a regional group of local trade unions.  We reflect the labour movement and labour issues in our communities of Revelstoke and Salmon Arm.

Our efforts include social and community action, political action, strike support and labour movement education.  Our members connect to bring voice to their Participation in community projects is determined by our mandate, the resources we have, and our capacity for involvement.

On Saturday, September 18, the Labour Council will be partnering with the Revelstoke Community Connections Food Bank to host A Day of Information and Celebration; a Protein for People event.  Held at the Revelstoke United Church (on Mackenzie Avenue) from 11 am to 2 pm, this event will included information on housing, advocacy, employment, literacy and childcare subsidy — along with face painting, play dough and live music.

What to know more?  We will be at the Revelstoke Farmer’s Market on Saturday, September 11.  Members of the Labour Council executive will be on hand to collect donations for tinned wild salmon for the Revelstoke Community Connections Food Bank.

Recent events, like the forced work camp near Golden, remind us of the importance of supporting everyone and our community, not just on Labour Day but every day.  “What we wish for ourselves, we wish for all.”

Warmly in solidarity,

Michelle Cole,
President,
Shuswap Columbia District Labour Council
Revelstoke

Editor’s note:

Notalwaysright.com always has a slightly different take on the retail and service industry. It’s vignettes are true tales and anecdotes from the commercial trenches as told by the shop clerks, bag boys, receptionists and technicians of the world who daily shake their heads at the odd ducks they sometimes have to deal with.

Suffering from A-Salt
Library/Alabama, USA

(I’m the director of our small-town library. One of my summer volunteers is a 16 year old girl who is a diabetic. She works the lunch shift, and I allow her to eat her lunch at the checkout counter.)

Patron: *to the volunteer* “Hey, can you tell me if you have this book?” *hands over a sheet of paper*

Volunteer: *putting fork down* “Yes. It’s over here. I’ll go get it for you.”

(She walks away. I notice the lady at the desk sniffing the air. She looks around, clearly sees me staring at her, and proceeds to take a large bite of my volunteer’s food. She obviously doesn’t like it, and takes a large container of something out of her purse and dumps it all over the food. She takes another bite, and looks satisfied.)

Volunteer: *coming back* “Here’s your…wait. Why are you eating my lunch?”

Patron: “It was a free sample. And I must say, whoever made it is a terrible cook. It’s very tasteless. I have to put my entire container of salt on this to make it edible!”

Volunteer: “That was my lunch. I’m a diabetic, so of course it wouldn’t taste very good!”

Me: “Ma’am, you just ate her lunch. Why?”

(As I am talking the volunteer scribbles something on a piece of paper and hands it to me. It says, ‘Ignore what I’m about to do’. She then falls to the ground shaking and convulsing.)

Patron: “Oh s***!” *runs out of the library*

Volunteer: “I learned how to do that to get my brothers in trouble.”

***

Criminal Behaviour
Bank/Calgary, Alberta

(For 11 days each summer Calgary goes a bit crazy with The Stampede. Businesses are decorated in Old West themes, and our bank is no exception. For the occasion we printed up ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’ posters featuring our manager and certain tellers and plastered them around the lobby. A customer walks in, looks at the posters, looks around in alarm at our bank manager and then sidles up to my line.)

Customer: “Are you alright? I know you can’t talk, but do you want me to call 911?”

Me: “What’s the problem ma’am?”

Customer: “Are they holding you hostage?”

Me: “Who?”

Customer: “Them!” *gestures at my bank manager*

Me: Oh, ma’am, they’re not criminals, they’re regular staff. This is Stampede!”

Customer: “You shouldn’t put up posters like that. It’s like yelling ‘Fire!’ in a movie theater!”

***

Blame a Lack of Concentration
Grocery Store/Alberta

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m trying to return this orange juice.”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “It’s brown.”

Me: “Oh, wow. When did you purchase it?”

Customer: “The 19th of this month.” *hands me her receipt*

Me: “Miss, this receipt says you purchased this orange juice on the 19th of last year. You bought this 367 days ago.”

Customer: “Yes, and it’s gone brown. I’d like a refund.”

Me: “Did it not occur to you that orange juice would expire over the course of the year?”

Customer: “I thought if I waited until the 19th of the month again, it would be okay.”

***

It’s All Dutch To Me
Bookstore/Eindhoven, Netherlands

Customer: “Hey, can I buy these, please?”

Me: “Sure. That’ll be 10 euros.”

(The customer hands me 10 Canadian dollars.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t take that currency.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “Because this isn’t Canada.”

Customer: “But I thought you guys use Canadian dollars? My friend said they use Canadian dollars outside the US.”

Me: “We don’t. We use Euros here.”

Customer: “Since when?”

Me: “Since 2002. Although before that, we used guilders, so your dollars would still be useless.”

Customer: “But they’re Canadian dollars!”

Me: “But this isn’t Canada.”

(At this point, I take a second look at the magazines he’s trying to buy.)

Me: ” Excuse me, but do you speak Dutch?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then why are you buying Dutch magazines?”

Customer: “I thought they’d be in English.”

Me: “Because they speak English in Canada?”

Customer: *blushing* “Yeah.”

***

Seeing The Sun In A Whole New Light
Tourist Information/Tromso, Norway

(Our city is in northern Norway, above the Arctic Circle. A tourist comes in.)

Tourist: “Sir, can you tell when the midnight sun goes down?”

Me: “Well it actually doesn’t, that the point. It’s up all night.”

Tourist: “I see. Thanks.”

(She leaves with an expression telling me that she really doesn’t. The following day she comes back looking annoyed.)

Tourist: “You lied to me.”

Me: “I’m sorry madam I don’t understand?”

Tourist: “I was up all night, and there was no midnight sun. Just the normal one I can see all day!”

***

You Got The Wrong(est) Item
Garden Store/Canada

Me: “Good afternoon, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Can you tell me if you carry Chlamydia?”

Me: *long pause* “Um… I’m sorry, is this a plant you are looking for?”

Caller: “Yes! The pink one. You know, Chlamydia!”

Me: “Do you mean Cyclamen?”

Caller: “Yeah! Cyclamen, Chlamydia, they’re all the same thing. So, do you have anyone there that can give me some Chlamydia?”

***

Product May Require A Certain Level of Maturity
Garden Store/Vancouver, BC

(A customer lifts bag of steer manure onto the counter.)

Customer: “I’ve got a question. What makes steer manure different from mushroom manure?”

Me: “Well, steer manure is made from the droppings of–”

Customer: “Wait. You said droppings? As in waste?”

Me: “Yes. Manure is made from decomposed waste.”

Customer: “So…What exactly is a steer?”

Me: “It’s just another name for a cow.”

Customer: “So steer manure is…oh, God. Oh, God!” *leaves without buying the manure*

***

Extremely Last Minute Shopping
Retail/Fairfax, Virginia

Me: “Hello, ma’am! Is there something I can help you find?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for this jacket for a ski trip. Do you have this one?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are over there on that fixture. Let me know if I can check for a size in the back.”

(The customer goes off, looks at the jackets then comes back.)

Customer: “There wasn’t the size I needed on the rack. Could you check in the back?”

Me: *checks in back* “Sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that size.”

Customer: “What?! Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “Well, I can order it for you. It will only take about a week.”

Customer: “I can’t wait a week.”

Me: “We can also expedite shipping. When do you leave?”

Customer: “I’m on my way to the airport.”

***

More than Mildly Confusing
Grocery Store/Ottawa, Ontario

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to buy some sausages.”

Me: “Okay. We have about 15 different kinds, so which would you like?

Customer: “What’s the difference between the mild, medium, and hot?”

Me: “You mean in the price?”

Customer: “No, in flavor.”

Me: “One is mild, one is medium, and one is hot.”

Customer: “So, which is the hottest?”

Me: “The hot.”

Customer: “…and the mild is hotter than medium?”

Me: “No. The mild is the least hot, the medium is a bit hotter than that, and the hot has the most pepper.”

Customer: “So the mild is mild?”

***

Dogs on Demand
Pet Store/Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA

Customer: “Hi, I need some help.”

Me: “Of course, sir. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I want to buy a dog.”

Me: “We don’t sell dogs or cats here. Our company has a policy against it because of the number of unwanted dogs in animal shelters.”

Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about? Of course you sell dogs, they’re right there!”

Me: “Actually, that’s our grooming salon, where customers can bring their pets for a haircut or bath. Would you like me to show you the adoption computer?”

Customer: “It’s nice that you’re making the dogs pretty for me. Now, when can I see them?”

Me: “Those dogs belong to other people sir. It’s the grooming salon.”

Customer: *sighs* “Fine, I get it. They’re all sold.”

(The customer sees a woman walking by with a Labrador on a leash.)

Customer: “I’ll take that one then. I can get a discount since it’s a floor model, right?”

***

This One’s a No-Brainer
Pharmacy/Sydney, Australia

Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart… or her brain.”

***

Tricky Customers are Just Killers
Tour/Vancouver Island, Canada

(I am taking tourists on a boat to see wild killer whales.)

Me: “If anyone has any questions during the charter, I would be happy to answer them.”

Customer: “So, when does the show start?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “The show. You know, like Shamu and stuff?”

Me: “You do know that these are wild animals, right?”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “These are wild animals. They don’t do tricks like you would see in an aquarium.”

Customer: “They don’t?”

Me: “No. They do not.”

Customer: “Oh, I see.” *pause* “So, when do you feed them?”

Me: “We don’t feed these animals. They are wild. They feed themselves.”

Customer: “I thought you said they didn’t do tricks?”

***

The Show Must Go On
Movie Theatre /Raleigh, North Carolina, USA

(We’ve paused a film 10 minutes before the end because a customer’s pulse has stopped. Fortunately, there’s a doctor in another movie who is able to help out before the ambulance arrives.)

Customer: “Excuse me, you stopped the movie. I wanted to see how it ended.”

Me: “Ma’am, we’ll continue the movie when the ambulance leaves. Someone almost died.”

Customer: “But we paid for our tickets. We deserve to see how it ends!”

Me: “I’m sorry, you’ll just have to wait. We will continue the film as soon as we can.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! You stopped the film. We paid to see the whole thing.”

Me: “No, we’re going to continue the film where it left off as soon as we’re sure this man’s life isn’t in danger. We had to stop so the EMTs could do their job.”

Customer: “Could we get a refund?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, I can’t give you a refund because you’ll get to see the rest of the film if you wait. Refunds are only for situations where we can’t continue the film.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I wanted to see how it ended!”

Me: “Well, if you wait about 20 minutes I’m sure the EMTs will have had enough time and you can finish your movie. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is.”

Customer: “I don’t believe this theater. We’re leaving!”

***

Driving Miss Crazy 2
Police /Wyoming, USA

(We’ve had to close down a road due to a car crash in a snow storm. Fire trucks and ambulances are there with lights flashing to block the road. I’m at one side of the street directing traffic.)

Driver: *slows down looking at the scene* “What happened?”

Me: “Accident, ma’am. Please keep moving.”

Driver: “Can I go down the street? It’s a shortcut.”

Me: “The road is closed, but you need to keep moving…you are going to cause another accident.”

Driver: “I didn’t cause any accident! I’m a good driver, how dare you imply that I’m not! I’m just trying to get home, why are you being so rude! I will have your badge, you little b****!”

Me: “Ma’am if you are not going to move then you need to pull to the side of the road now!”

Driver: “I pay your salary! You are supposed to help people! Don’t you want me to get home? I have a family, you know!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you do not pull to the side of the road right now or drive away I am going to arrest you.”

Driver: “Fine!”

(With that, she drives straight down the closed street and nearly hits me. Due to all the snow she loses control and crashes into one of the parked cruisers.)

Driver: “This is all your fault! Why didn’t you tell me the road was closed!”

***

Fido’s Fashion Emergency
Pet Store /Calgary, Alberta

Me: “Thank you for calling [pet store], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, operator. Can you please connect me to [pet store]?”

Me: “This is [pet store], ma’am.”

Customer: “[Pet store]! I NEED TO BE CONNECTED TO [pet store]!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [pet store].”

Customer: “[Pet store!] I NEED TO BE CONNECTED IMMEDIATELY, IT’S AN EMERGENCY!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [pet store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, this is [pet store]? I’d like to buy a doggie sweater.”

***

Fast Food for Fast Thinkers
Fast Food /Maryland, USA

(I am working as a cashier and two customers come in talking loudly about how dumb minimum wage fast-food workers are. One of them decides to prove it…)

Customer: “Let me ask you a question. What’s 7 times 7?”

Me: “49.”

Customer: “What’s 8 times 8?”

Me: “64.”

Customer: “E equals MC squared?”

Me: “What about it?”

Customer: “What does it mean?”

Me: “Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”

Customer: “Uhm…”

Me: “Would you like fries with that?”

***

Bird Brained
Pet Store/Keene, NH, USA

Customer: “Your bird bit my kid.”

Me: “Well, the birds can’t reach their beaks through the cages. Did your son have his finger in the cage?”

Customer: “Yeah. Well, there’s nothing telling you not to.”

Me: “Sometimes they get scared when you poke your fingers into their cages, and the only way they know how to tell you is to nip you.”

Child: “Oh, okay. I bet he was just scared.”

Customer: “You should put up some signs in here telling people your birds bite!”

(I show the customer the signs posted on each and every bird cage asking customers not to poke fingers into the cages as the birds may bite, as well as the additional two on the doors entering the bird room.)

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! How do you know I can read?”

***

Learning by example
Video Store/Vancouver, BC

Coworker: “Whoops, looks like there’s a 30 cent late fee on here for [movie]. It was returned a day late, so your total will be $6.25.”

Customer: “What?! That’s impossible! I returned it the day after I rented it!”

Coworker: “Well, it was a seven day rental, and it shows here that you returned it a day late at 6:13 pm.”

(The customer continues to argue very loudly with my coworker, yelling out things like, “Do you know who I am?!” However, I tune it out because a regular customer comes up to my register.)

Me: “Hi, Mr ***!”

Regular: “Hey ***, love the hair. What’s the damage?”

Me: “Oh boy, $43.76 in late fees? Where did you go this time?”

(The regular leans way over into the other customer’s face and speaks loudly.)

Regular: “$43.76 in late fees, you say? Here is my debit card, miss!”

(He pulls his debit card out of his wallet with a big flourish.)

Regular: “Boy, I should learn to return my movies on time, which is clearly not the fault of this establishment!”

(The other customer shuts up, quickly pays, and leaves.)

Me: “You’re my favorite.”

Regular: “I know.”

(We waived half his fees and gave him a free rental.)

***

Military Intelligence
Grocery store/Vancouver, Canada

(A kid walks up and asks to buy a pack of cigarettes.)

Me: “Could I see your ID please?”

(The kid hands me an un-laminated piece of hand-cut white paper with a picture taped to it and all the “information” handwritten.)

Me: “Seriously, you’re going to try this?”

Customer: “It’s my military ID…”

***

A Smokin’ Deal
Bakery/Ohio, USA

(A customer comes to me with a package of brownies with a “Special!” sticker on the top.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss?”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Why are these brownies “special”?”

Me: “They’re the bakery’s special of the week. They’re on sale now through Saturday.”

Customer: “So, there’s nothing different about them?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you mean.”

Customer: *winking* “They’re not…’special’ brownies?”

Me: “Oh! No, sorry, they’re just normal brownies.”

Customer: “Never mind, then.” *sets down the container and walks away*

***

A high credit limit
Fast Food/Hamilton, Ontario

(A customer comes up to the register at about 11 pm, looking a little out of it.)

Customer: “Hi, how much is a double cheeseburger?”

Me: “With tax, it comes to $1.46.”

Customer: “Oh…okay…” (Searches through his pockets and comes up with 63 cents.) “Can I pay with this much cash and the rest on debit?”

Me: “Sure, that’s no problem. I’ll have to do the debit portion first.”

Customer: “Normally, I’d pay with the whole thing on debit, but I just bought a bunch of pot and I don’t know what’s left in my account.”

Me: “How did you manage to buy pot with your debit card?”

Customer: “Oh man! My dealer is so great! He just got one of those portable debit machines! He comes right to my house!”

Me: “Well, if you could just swipe your card…”

Customer: “Oh no! I didn’t protect my pin. What if you saw it?”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry sir, I was over there I wasn’t even watching, and anyways I have a terrible memory.”

Customer: “Ok, well it’s 6969. That’s my favorite number!”

(After leaving with his food I had to chase after him, as he had left his debit card in the machine.)

***

All roads lead to Rome China
Retail / San Jose, CA, USA

(A customer is looking at our lamp displays).

Customer: “Where in China are these made?”

Me: “They’re not made in China; they’re all made in Italy.”

Customer: “But where in China are these made?”

Me: “They’re not made in China. All these lamps are made in Italy.”

Customer: “But where in China are these made?!”

Me: “None of these lamps are made in China. They’re made in Italy. It’s a country in Europe.”

Customer: “But where in China are these made?!”

***

Dialog boxes are forever
Library/Ottawa, Ont., Canada

(I’m at the library checking my email, when another patron seated next to me taps me on the shoulder.)

Patron: “Excuse me, I’m trying to get into email, but something pops up, I click “No”, and all I get is a blank page.”

Me: “Have you tried clicking ‘Yes’?”

Patron: “Why would I do that?”

Me: “Well, if it’s asking if you want to continue, and you should click ‘Yes’.”

Patron: *tries again* “It just brings up the blank page again!”

Me: “Did you click ‘Yes’ to continue?”

Patron: “No, I clicked ‘No’.”

Me: “Why did you click ‘No’? I told you to click ‘Yes’.”

Patron: *tries again* “Okay, do I click ‘No’?”

Me: “You click on ‘Yes’!”

(Not surprisingly, she clicks on ‘No’. She does this several times as other library patrons who overhear us begin to laugh.)

Patron: “Okay, so I get this message–”

(This time, I seize her mouse before she can do anything and click ‘Yes’. Hotmail pops up.)

Patron: “Oh, it works now! That’s funny. Thank you!”

***

Beware The Nines of Merch
Retail / Victoria, BC, Canada

(I’m at the service desk when an elderly man comes up.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, sir?”

Customer: “No, but you can answer me a question.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Do you have anything for sale that doesn’t end in .99?”

Me: “Well, we’ve got some 79’s and 49’s, but prices are usually always going to end–”

Customer: “Are you kidding me?! I know what you’re trying to do with those nines! I know that you’re just trying to convince me it’s cheaper! Do you think I’m stupid or something?!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “TAKE THE NINES SERIOUSLY!” *storms out*

***

The financial crisis personified
Gas station/Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA

(A lady walks up to my register with a medium coffee.)

Me: “That’ll be $1.17 please.”

Customer: “All right, I’ve just got a few cards here to put that on.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Take 75 cents off this one.” *hands over card*

Me: “OK…42 cents is the remaining balance.”

Customer: “Next, take 40 cents off this one.” *hands over next card* “…and take the remaining 2 cents off this card.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve got two extra pennies for you; I’m not charging two cents…”

Customer: “Oh, well thank you! You know how it goes sometimes with credit cards, I’m sure…”

Me: “No, no I really do not.”

Customer: “Oh, well you really should manage your finances better!” *walks out*

***

In search of Mrs. Ripley’s Believe it or Not
Grocery store/Ontario, Canada

Me: “Hello, how are you doing tonight?”

(The customer says nothing for a few moments while blatantly staring at me.)

Customer: “…you have two air holes.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

Customer: “You only have two air holes!”

Me: “Well, yes. Two NOSTRILS, you mean.”

Customer: *continues to stare intently at me*

Me: “…”

Customer: “You should have three. I have been looking all my life for someone with three nostrils, but I still haven’t found her!”

Me: “Oh…really.”

Customer: “Yeah! I’ve traveled the world, but no luck.”

Me: *accepts his money and bags the item* “Well, you have fun with that!”

***

Today, we are all from Toronto
Beach/Cape Cod, Massachusetts, USA

(The parking lot is full at a popular beach and the area is residential, so I have the job of turning cars away.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the lot is full and you’re blocking traffic so you’ll have to move your car.”

Customer: “But we are from Toronto!”

Me: “Um…I’m glad you drove all this way, but the lot is full. Maybe you can get some lunch and check back in a half hour?”

Customer: “But we are from Toronto.”

Me: “I know, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do, I have to keep this road clear.”

Customer: “Have you ever been to Toronto?”

Me: “No. But please, sir, you have to move. Perhaps you can drop your family off and rejoin them later when we have spaces.”

Customer: *angrily* “We are going back to Toronto!”

September 12: Join the Drum Circle for Peace — United Church — 4 pm — Questions? Contact Rev. Ken Jones at 250-837-3198 or e-mail him at revnek@hotmail.com

September 13: Arrow Heights Community Group Meeting — Community Centre — 7 – 8:30 pm

September 14: Nel Lord shaves her head at the Canadian Cancer Society’s First Golf Fore the Cure event. Help her raise $2,000! Go to her Cancer Society web page to find out how! — Revelstoke Golf Club

September 14: Clearview and Johnson Heights Community Group Meeting — Community Centre — 7 – 8:30 pm

September 15: Southside Community Group Meeting — Mt. Begbie School — 7 – 8:30 pm

September 18: Drumming for Global Unity! — Grizzly Plaza — 4 pm

September 18: Moonlight Drive to Monashee Cabin on Mount Revelstoke! Free admission to the national park, enjoy a campfire with  friends and family! — Mount Revelstoke National Park — 5-9 pm — Click here to view the poster

September 20: Big Eddy Community Group Meeting — Community Centre — 7 – 8:30 pm

September 22: Central Business District Community Group Meeting — Community Centre — 3 – 4:30 pm

September 23: Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour presented by the Friends of Mount Revelstoke and Glacier — Roxy Theatre — 7 pm

September 23: The Mammography Screening Program is returning to Revelstoke — at the Revelstoke Seniors Centre — Call 1-800-663-9203 for an appointment

September 24: Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour presented by the Friends of Mount Revelstoke and Glacier — Roxy Theatre — 7 pm

September 24: The Mammography Screening Program is returning to Revelstoke — at the Revelstoke Seniors Centre — Call 1-800-663-9203 for an appointment

September 25: New Moon Festival presented by the Revelstoke Chamber of Commerce, celebrating the city’s great downtown through music and comedy — Downtown Revelstoke — All Day

September 25: The Mammography Screening Program is returning to Revelstoke — at the Revelstoke Seniors Centre — Call 1-800-663-9203 for an appointment

September 26: The Mammography Screening Program is returning to Revelstoke — at the Revelstoke Seniors Centre — Call 1-800-663-9203 for an appointment

September 27: The Mammography Screening Program is returning to Revelstoke — at the Revelstoke Seniors Centre — Call 1-800-663-9203 for an appointment

September 28: Annual St. Francis Apple Pie Sale — Call 837-4139 to pre-order

September 28: The Mammography Screening Program is returning to Revelstoke — at the Revelstoke Seniors Centre — Call 1-800-663-9203 for an appointment

September 29: Annual St. Francis Apple Pie Sale — Call 837-4139 to pre-order

October 22: 2010 Columbia Basin Symposium: Shaping Our Future Together: Take Action, Build Partnerships, Strengthen Communities — Community Centre — Click here to view the draft agenda — CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

October 23: 2010 Columbia Basin Symposium: Shaping Our Future Together: Take Action, Build Partnerships, Strengthen Communities —Community Centre — Click here to view the draft agenda — CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

October 24: 2010 Columbia Basin Symposium: Shaping Our Future Together: Take Action, Build Partnerships, Strengthen Communities —Community Centre — Click here to view the draft agenda — CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

One of the rites of autumn in Revelstoke is watching the brave struggle of the red fish as they fight their way upstream to spawn. Here, red fish congregate beneath a cedar at Bridge Creek. Laura Stovel photo

Dave Meyers walks his dog, Willow, at Bridge Creek where the red fish are busy spawning. Laura Stovel photo

By Chrissi Meyer and Laura Stovel

One of the rites of autumn in Revelstoke is watching the brave struggle of the red fish as they fight their way upstream to spawn. Parents take their children to observe these fresh- and salt-water salmon (kokanee and sockeye respectively) as they leap over rocks and other barriers to find a safe place to lay their eggs, their last creative act in life.

At Beardale Miniatures and Eagle River Campground, about a half-hour drive west of Revelstoke on the Trans Canadian Highway, large sockeye can be seen laying their eggs in the Perry River. They are just a few of the many thousands of sockeye that make the remarkable journey from the Pacific ocean to the fresh water rivers to spawn. Sockeye spend their adult life (approximately 4 years) in the ocean. They return to their place of birth to spawn before they die.

The Kokanees' larger cousin, the Sockeye Salmon, are back spawning in the Perry River west of town. Laura Stovel photo

Closer to Revelstoke — on the Tum Tum River in the Big Eddy and at Bridge Creek near the industrial park — smaller spawning Kokanee can be observed with ease. Although the Department of Fisheries stopped restoring Bridge Creek for spawning kokanee a few years ago, the creek still attracts plenty of fish.

The Tum Tum, in The Big Eddy, is another spawning ground for Kokanee. Laura Stovel photo

The salmon run is not only a spectacular event for humans and fishermen, it also attracts black bears, eagles and other wildlife. Often there are spots on the bank that indicate bear activity.

If you’re looking for a lovely — and local! — family activity, a visit to Bridge Creek is just the thing for you and your children.

Here are some examples of the way that red fish have been portrayed by local and regional artists:

Painter David Rooney likes the Kokanee because they remind him of little chilli peppers. Painting by David F. Rooney

Kokanee are also featured in the works of local painters, such as this mural by David Rooney and Gwen Lips with the assistance of many local children at Castle Joe Books. Laura Stovel photo

This is a view of the new public art sculpture of sturgeon and red fish fish in front of the United Church. It was unveiled on Canada Day this year. David F. Rooney photo

“Excessive speed is often a death sentence for everyone involved – the driver, their passengers and other innocent road-users,” Solicitor General Mike de Jong said in a statement. “We want to save lives by going after the kind of driver who drives significantly and dangerously over the posted speed limit, and then get them off the road. By doing so, we hope to make our streets and highways safer for everyone.”

About 10,000 tickets a year are issued by police for excessive speeding. As of Sept. 20, a charge of excessive speeding will trigger a mandatory seven-day impoundment for a first offence, a 30-day impoundment for a second, and 60 days for subsequent excessive speeding offences within two years.

Impoundment is in addition to existing penalties, which include:

1. A fine of $368 to $483, depending on how excessive the speed;
2. Three penalty points on a driver’s licence; and
3. An ICBC driver-risk premium of $320 per year for three years, over and above Autoplan insurance premiums.

Police say speed is the No. 1 contributing factor to fatalities in car accidents and “the faster you go, the less likely you’ll walk away from a crash.”

Street racers are also affected by the new rules. While street racing differs from excessive speeding because it involves two or more vehicles trying to outdistance each other, under the new impoundment provisions, both are subject to minimum seven-day impoundments.

Previously, street racing had a minimum impoundment period of 48 hours. Additionally, the Motor Vehicle Act now makes careless acts like excessive tailgating, and reckless driving actions like wheelies and doughnuts – subject to a seven-day impoundment.

The strengthened sanctions for excessive speeding are part of changes to the Motor Vehicle Act that include new provisions for impaired driving.

For more information please go to www.gov.bc.ca.